Challenging Our Thoughts - Helping Our Children To Understand Theirs.

Challenging Our Thoughts and Helping Our Children To Understand Theirs.

The saying ‘what we focus on, we become’ certainly has some truth! Our thoughts left unchecked can lead us down some very dark paths. It can lead to:

· Self-doubt

· Procrastination

· Short Attention Span

· Pessimism

· Isolation

· Anxiety

· Depression

· Anger

· Low academic/sporting/work performance.

· Poor Choices and Decisions

If we as adults struggle to keep our thoughts under control, imagine the challenges our children and teenagers face.

We need to support them to have the courage and confidence to take on new challenges and build their ability to bounce back when setbacks happen.

We do this best by modelling to them how it is done. Our children will adopt what we do long before they do as we say.

If we are unable to self-regulate and control our emotional reactions to our thoughts our tamariki are more likely to find it challenging as well.

So how do we begin to get our thoughts under some kind of control especially when our lives and theirs are so busy and often overwhelming?

The challenge here is not to try and get rid of these thoughts but to be able to manage them when they do arise.

We need to first catch them! That is the challenge!

As adults we can challenge our thoughts:

· Check is the thought we are thinking, true? Or just a story we are telling ourselves?

· Can I think about this differently?

· Is there something for me to learn?

· Is this thought taking me towards what I want or moving me away from it?

· Am I focused on the whole picture or just a small part of it?

To support our children and teenagers we must:

· Make it okay to talk about our/their feelings

· Let your child know that these thoughts and feelings are okay in fact normal…we all have them!

· Allow them the time and space to talk with you, away from the hustle and bustle of the day. A walk, or sitting outside in the garden, away from distraction and devices.

· Support your child/teenager to take small positive steps towards a solution rather than have them give up or walk away from what is worrying them.

· Your understanding, support and time builds a child’s inner strength and self-belief. If they know you believe in them, they are more likely to believe in themselves.

Most importantly, be patient with yourself and with your child.❤